Neil Yan Dot Com

It’s pretty amazing to see these little things called infants develop new skills right in front of your eyes. Some skills are cute and adorable, others we can do without. Here is a short list of things Ben have “learned” over the past few weeks:

1. Sticking out his tongue. There are going to be some lucky girls in his future
2. Kicking his legs endlessly for no reason. He’s used this new skill to move himself off his favorite chair. I found him half-on half-off the chair the other day.
3. Grabbing things with his mighty grip.
4. Puking large amounts of milk unexpectedly.
5. He has found the effectiveness of a glass-shattering scream that seems to bring both parents running to his “rescue”. The scream seems to dissipate immediately upon picking him up, followed by an evil smirk.
6. When sitting on the potty, he pushes with more force now. Once his crap explodes out of his ass, it’s usually followed by an evil smirk.
7. He hates being fed by the bottle! When I mean hate, I mean HATE! The site of the bottle brings about the glass-shattering scream.
8. He reaches for things now within his reach.
9. He’s learned to swat away things he doesn’t like, for example, the bottle and the little dropper filled with his vile Vitamin D.
10. He’s producing cute little noises now. On several occasions, I’ve caught him singing to himself or talking to himself…then it’s usually followed by a glass-shattering scream (meaning, “Pick me up!”)

We recently had dinner  with a friend and his wife from Washington DC. I’ve always wondered how’d they manage so far from family. Brian and I grew up in Windsor, which is where his family still resides. Her family lives in Hawaii (I know, why would anyone ever want to leave Hawaii?). But these two “nomads” have a tendency to move from city to city every 2-3 years, mainly because they’re both trying to see who can acquire more academic degrees (I can order them online for $100 each and no moving is required). I’m not going to lie to you, they’re messed up. But they don’t have family issues to deal with! Their families are too far away for them to be affective in any way.

So, one thing that I warned Sheila about was once Ben was born, he was going to be the new Farrah in the family. If Ben never choose to walk in his lifetime, there would be someone in the family to carry him around. That’s been the case so far. Everywhere we go, Ben has been the centre of attention and it helps that he’s cute; even strangers and passerbyers smile or comment how cute he is, a genetic attribute of being my son

How do normal people manage their time between families, specifically the in-laws, unlike my nomad friends who get to see their families once a year? We want Ben to be equally shared between the families without one of us spending more time with one family over another. It’s not the fault of the families, they want to see 1) the first grandchild (on my side) or 2) the first grandSON (on Sheila’s side).  The fact that he’s starting to make noises and smile and starting to grab things add to the cute factor. Luckily we haven’t had to decide which family to visit first, or who’s family we have to decline, or any type of scheduling conflict. So far, knock on wood, Ben’s been loved evenly by both families without any quarrels.

So, what about his parents? At what age do we stop doing the tours? His presence is still relatively new. There are still friends and other family members who have not met Ben. But what happens after? After surveying a few friends, it seems like a never ending circle. Sheila and I both agree whole heartedly that family is important. But when I\we start saying, “We’re busy, we can’t come see you this weekend”? I think the answer is NEVER. Or at least not until there’s more grandchildren in the families, and hopefully then, the families will be overwhelmed and then they’ll start saying, “We’re busy. Maybe another weekend”.’

Remember that action hero doll whose arms can stretch?

We’ve been very careful of what Sheila eats over the past year. No caffeine, no alcohol, no over-the-counter drugs, and no MSG! It’s been shown that taking large amounts of these substances can lead to problems during the development stages while pregnant. That is no different after Ben was born. What Sheila eats can end up in the breast milk. So the diet has pretty much remained steady for the past year; low fat, high in vitamins, no preservatives, you know…good healthy home cooking.

So, the other day, we had family friends visit from out of town. Usually in those situations, we go out to eat, just to save us the hassle of cooking and cleaning for everyone. We chose a Chinese restaurant near our home in Markham. We’ve been there many times, so we know the food is good. We decided to try something different (mistake #1). Bitter melon with grouper in a hot pot. Normally, to me, that sounds good. It was alright. The grouper wasn’t that good. The bitter melon, well, bitter; more bitter than usual. And it was one of the last items on the menu (mistake #2). Never order anything near the bottom of the menu; most people don’t make it that far, therefore they won’t stash that much of the ingredients.

For the next 2 days, Ben has been crapping his pants more than usual. He stopped crapping his diapers in the middle of the night over a month ago. It’s started again. Weird! He’s also crapping twice as much. Is he sick? No, he looks the same. But we’ve noticed that he’s more fidgety and more easily irritated. Thinking what it might be, we’ve come to the conclusion….IT’S THE BITTER MELON! We’ve also bought some grapefruit juice; also sour. Our conclusion…bitter and sour makes for bad tasting breast milk.

Lesson here: remember “what she eats, he eats”.

I backed up into a parked car in our garage the other day. Normally, when something like that happens to other people, it’s usually bumper to bumper, and damage is limited to a minor scratch. Not with me! The car is “bumped” into was parked perpendicular to my truck. So, of course, I had to do major damage to its back driver side door; major as in “crushed” the side door a few inches. Fricken Volvos! They crumble like chips.
So, to do the right thing, I left a note on the windshield with my cell number. It’s not like he wouldn’t have figured it out anyways. There aren’t the many cars parked perpendicular to his that could have backed up into his spot.

We’re settling out of court. He doesn’t want to go to his insurance company, and neither do I. For the price of a small LCD TV, the deal was done. THAT SUCKS!! The TV would have been a better option.

On a better note, Ben has been enjoying more of the outdoor weather now that warmer weather has arrived. We’ve made an effort to go for an hour walk after dinner every night when the weather is good. At 15lbs, 4oz (as of April 8th), Ben is still heavier than 97% of infants his age. But the good thing is his growth spurt is subsiding. He’s only grown 1.5lb in 4 weeks. We were premature to get him into Stage 3 diapers. That’s OK. He’s got to shit that much harder now to get shit on his clothes.

Happy Easter!

With our little crazy neighbour to the west, I found something fitting for the situation…enjoy!