Neil Yan Dot Com

Sheila and I have been asked by a few friends and colleagues where/if we are registered for baby Ben. Since we’ve been preoccupied with decorating and cleaning, registering at a store has been low on the priority list. We know it’s going to take at least an hour; but the biggest challenge is going to be what to register for. Since my little sister Pat is in the daycare business, we figured we’d invite her along for the ride and have her suggest stuff that she and her daycare uses on a daily basis; stuff foreign to us. Who would have thought that a breast pump is necessary? Doesn’t the kid know what to do? Doesn’t the mom? I don’t remember being aided by a machine as a child? You see wild animals on the Discovery Channel do it! They don’t have pumps for lions, cheetahs, or chimps!! Someone’s got a good scam going on.

So, at the last minute today, we decided to just walk down to the Bay store on Queen Street (south side of the Eaton Centre). Of course, the six story building the width of a large city block is pretty intimidating. The store directory on the main floor says 5th floor for “kids”. So Sheila and I shuffle our way to the escalator, shuffling because she gets tired quickly now…even riding the escalator

We eventually find the ‘baby’ section of the store. We’re surprised that it’s so large and well organized (we’ve been told to go to Sears because the Bay lacks selection; the opposite is true at this store). It takes me about 5 minutes to find a sales rep in the area. I ask him where we can register for the baby, and he directed us down the “aisle” and to the “left”. So, we start walking. I pass the entire baby section, towards the “kids” section. Then we head pass the “maternity” section where I ask the sales lady to pointed me down the same “aisle and to the left”. Out of the blue, we enter in the “seasonal” section where everything CHRISTMAS is set up. It’s pretty wild what they’ve done in this area. There’s icicles hanging from the ceiling, several xmas trees fully decorated, and thousands of ornaments for sale. Again, I ask another sales lady who again, directed us “down the aisle and to the left”. We head pass the “xmas” section into the “fine china section”. Once at the fine china, I approach what looked like a counter for registries. So, a woman ask us how she can help us. I ask about registering for a baby. She looks over her shoulder and points EVEN FURTHER “down the aisle and to the left”!! It felt like we walked the whole mall to get to the registry counter!! FINALLY! The registry counter!!

It wasn’t what I expected. There were 8 tables with 2 chairs each and a computer. So, with no other customers in the area, we decide to rest our feet and take a seat at one of the tables. Another sales rep approaches us and asks us if we needed assistance. Well, the first question was, “did you make an appointment?” What?!! Appointment?!! We need an appointment?!! We just walked a marathon, and you want us to have an appointment!? “Let me check our schedule”, she says. Of course, nothing’s available. I’m thinking, “just give me the damn scanner”! Long story short, we have an appointment at 7:30PM monday. I guess the sales rep noticed we just walked a billion miles because she offered us bottled water just as we were leaving. Nice touch.

Moral of the story: plan a picnic lunch, wear good shoes, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT and bring water!!

There’s a pretty funny bit during Chris Rock’s appearance on Ellen about his opinion on who will win the US Election next tuesday:

The nursery organizing is in full swing, and a big part of that has been what colour to paint the room. Since the Wendy crib has a dark finish, we don’t want anything to clash with it, or make the room look too small. After bringing home a bag full of paint samples, we’ve decided on a hue of blue similar to the colour of the Caribbean ocean at high noon (if you haven’t already passed out from the 5 morning Cesares you had at the poolbar).

While doing my research, someone mentioned VOC! It stands for Volatile Organic Compounds. It sounds like it something you want in your paint because it’s organic!! But NO! In actuality, we don’t want anything volatile. VOCs make the paint go on smoother. These chemicals can continue to emit years after the paint has been put up. It contributes to ground level Ozone and very fine particulate matter into the atmosphere. It’s harmful enough that the government has put restrictions on it; a few grams per litre of paint. Here’s a link:

http://www.ec.gc.ca/Nopp/voc/docs/HouseProd/EN/toxecology_executive_summary_public.cfm

So, at Home Depot (my second favorite place to the library…ya right) sells CIL Natural Paint. It’s VOC free. But there’s a catch! The base colour (ie. white) is VOC free! Once you start to add tint to the base, you start adding VOC to it. The darker the colour, the move VOCs. So, if you’re planning to paint the kid’s room with VOC free paint, it’s got to be white! Lucky for Ben, it’s going to be a light paint. Besides, we have an air purifier for his room already. Hopefully it will help pick up some of the small particulates. Worst case, it can help prevent SIDs (that’s another thing to blog about).

With the US election just 2 weeks away, SNL has come up with some of its best material in decades!! Here’s the latest one they showed on Thursday.

It was only a matter of time before the “question” was more trouble than it was worth. Here’s the scenario: I went into a furniture store alone shopping for a new sofa for our condo. A young female sales rep approaches me and asked how my day was. My usual response, “Fantastic! How’s yours?”. She then proceeds to her sales pitch and then asks what I’m looking for. I start by saying, “Well, my..” AND THAT’S WHEN I PAUSED, TOOK A GULP, and proceeded to finish the sentence…”WIFE and I are replacing our old couch”. “WIFE!?”. In that brief pause (and ‘gulp’), I considered all the combinations and permutation about my situation. I needed to tell her about Ben’s impending visit (because we’re looking for a child-proof sofa), but I didn’t need to tell her Sheila and I aren’t married. People, I have noticed, judge me!! Ya! Me!!

If anything, I just rather avoid the “why don’t you married the poor girl?”, or “what are you waiting for?” or “I can’t believe you knocked her up without a ring” or  the “you’re going to hell!” looks. My situation isn’t that uncommon anymore. A few of my friends aren’t married, and yet their girlfriends are pregnant or have recently given birth. For us, it was about priorities. Getting married was not high on the list. Having a child is very high on the list. Besides, I think having a child with Sheila trumps a diamond ring when it comes to commitment. I could have easily just bought her the “3 month salary equivalent” rock with all 5 “C”s considered, but Ben would have to be fed by “boob” for more than 3 years, but daddy blew a substantial amount on a piece of granite.

Don’t get me wrong, it’ll happen one day. But it’s got to feel right, just like when we decided it was the right time to have Ben. So, will I continue to say “wife”? Depends. People can continue to call her my wife…I’m cool with that. Sheila can refer to me as her husband; she’s more than cool with that. Between us, we’re the status-quo!

As for Ben, we’re still his parents!

Having a boy is pretty exciting. It takes a lot of pressure off the dad to have the “girl” type talks when the time comes (stuff like periods, tampons, etc…you know, stuff guys know nothing about). What do you have to talk about to a boy? Cars, girls (not girl stuff), and sports? Right? Well, the other night, out of the blue, the “C” word came out! CIRCUMCISION!! I pretty much cringed for Ben! I know he doesn’t know what it means, but I’m pretty sure he kicked his mother pretty hard after she said it…or at least I hope he did. “That’s my boy!”.

I’ve heard of the debate in the past. Those who are “fore” it say it’s better hygienically for the boy. It doesn’t affect sexual performance in adulthood. It’s just unnecessary skin. The ones against circumcision say it can affect sexual performance, it does serve a purpose (it supposedly has strong nerve endings), and there’s no real reason to subject an infant to the pain. Well, I’m not bragging, but it hasn’t hinder my performance, I’m probably better off hygienically, and I don’t have bad dreams about it (as some claim I would).

I guessed that a majority would have it done, but according to our friend the “internet/wikipedia”, less than 40% of Canadians get it done, but the trend is on the rise…”there’s a joke in there somewhere”. The arguments “for and against” it both make sense. I’m on the fence as of today. More research is needed. I guess we don’t need to subject our “little” friend to undue pain if it’s not necessary.

It hurts me just to even think about it…with legs crossed

The perception that what you expose your child to will ultimately decide their path in life. Case in point: if we paint Ben’s room pink, and we’re going to get a momma’s boy! But let’s not chance it. Not pink in the room! No Barbie dolls to play with! Nothing frilly or femine for my boy. All sports! G.I. Joe! Hot wheels! Trains!

So the discussion has turned to what theme to paint the room? Nascar? Raptors? The standard baby blue? How about JUNGLE?! We saw this print on a comforter at Sears with jungle animals. It sort of goes will with our dark wood Wendy crib that we purchased last week. There’s nothing blue about it. It’s actually BROWN! Lots of “woody” colours. Is brown gender specific or gender neutral? I don’t see too many brown “girl” rooms, but I’m safe to say, I haven’t been looking into little girl’s rooms in the past.

I guess the more important question is should I care? Am I predisposing Ben to a specific lifestyle? How can the jungle theme be bad for him? Maybe he’ll grow up to be a vet! Or even a dog walker! No, he’ll be a vet. His mom won’t let him be just a dog walker…there’ll be too much wasted tuition for that career path.

For now, Ben’s getting Africa until further notice.

Here’s the print:

http://www.sears.ca/gp/product/B0017L4YR6/ref=dp_other-collections-items/103-8917463-6658254?ie=UTF8&searsBrand=core

Ben’s been kicking up a storm lately. It’s usually when he’s hungry or maybe that’s the excuse his mother’s using to eat again But the last several days, the kicking is “feeling” a little different. Sheila is saying it’s not like he’s kicking, but more like a cramp in the stomach. A little conversion with one of friends at school revealed that she’s feeling BRAXTON HICKS! My first response was Baxton what? (in my chinglish).

Well, some call it “false labour”, others call it “practice contractions”. I guess it’s the body’s way of getting ready for the Big Show (although there are some who disagree). I guess it makes sense. Why wouldn’t a body practice? It’s not like you push a 6+ pound object out of your gut on a regular basis (except for those chilli nights or when you eat a Hero Burger).,..and trust me…I’ve given birth to a few Hero Burgers in my life…and there were no Braxton Hicks prepping me for it

So, who is Braxton Hicks? Well, our friend the “web” says John Braxton Hicks (1872) was an English doctor who described these random, and usually painless contractions. According to Sheila, John’s a liar! They may be random, but they’re sure NOT painless!

You know what’s wrong about all this? A man’s name is given to a woman’s bodily function. Somehow, there’s no justice in this world.

Here’s more info on B.H: http://www.babycenter.ca/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/physicalhealth/braxtonhicks/

For your viewing pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07U_uKGfv48

Statistics show that Ben should be 2.5lbs and 16 inches in length. He’s got new skills like blinking, coughing and dreaming (supposedly there’s high brain activity…his mom should like that). Also, as we have discovered over the past month, he’s learned KUNG-FU (a phrase borrowed from a friend). Maybe we should consider renaming Ben to Bruce…Bruce Lee…and even drop the Yan (ya, right).

So, I’m scouring the internet for murals to put up in Ben’s room (after I paint it). Like everything else “baby”, the ideas are endless. With the impending recession, maybe I’ll just paint the room blue, buy a light and just do shadow art with my hands for him. It’s cheaper, less work and always changing…and I might even get a kick out of it. Besides, he won’t see anything for the first month anyways..so I’m told.

Ah, yes..the days of when my family was on a budget. We really didn’t have toys growing up. Sharing the few hand-me down toys from the neighbours were required (as much as I hated sharing with my younger sister). It was always a crap shoot too what toys were handed down to us. One day it could be a cool car for boys, the next was a barbie doll with one arm missing. The cool thing about that was I could use the car to run over barbie until the other arm fell off. I was one angry child. My only fear is that what goes around, comes around.

I’m getting my rest now…I’m told I’ll need it when Ben shows up.

Here’s a song for your listening enjoyment:

wang-chung-kung-fu-fighting

If I am to retire early, Ben’s got to turn pro in a high profile, high paying sport. So, the recent discussion turned to which sport should we push our child towards. Golf? Basketball (sure, there’s been players in the NBA as short as 5′6″)?  Tennis? What about the Olympics? A figure skater? (we axed that one pretty quick). Gymnist? (Sheila use to be in gymnastics). What about curling? No real athletic ability needed (as in being strong, or fast, or have quick reflexes). How about darts!!? He can be the best dart player in the world!!

Can I really retire on Ben’s dart career? I know it’s huge in the UK, but winning a few thousand here and there isn’t going to cut it. How does a parent choose which sports to push our kids towards? I had it pretty easy growing up in Windsor; I just played the sports that my friends played. We pretty much played them all. Basketball, tennis, volleyball, badminton, and track & field. Not to gloat, but I was pretty good at most of them Maybe that’s the game plan. Throw the kid into all sports. Maybe one will stick. Let’s just hope Sheila doesn’t turn into a “soccer/hockey mom”.

I guess at the end of the day, I just want to be able for Ben to keep up with me on a 5K jog. Who knows, maybe he’ll turn running into a career. Like father, like son.

Scotiabank Marathon 2008